No Fumar

I have a terrible, nasty habit that I have been trying to quit for a long time. When I decided that I would kick the habit on May 1st, 2010, I made a list of other things that need to go. I didn’t realize I had so many addictions until I started making the list:

1. Smoking
2. Caffeine
3. Food
4. T.V.
5. Facebook
6. Nail biting

I mean really, all that’s missing are pornography, alcohol and drugs. I had no idea I was on such a downward spiral. I need an intervention. Actually, an intervention was probably what God had in mind when he sent the Mormon missionaries to my house. One day I will have to tell you a story. Not today though, today is about dealing with my horrible secrets.

Smoking has to be dealt with first. Head on, cold turkey. I don’t even know why I smoke. It’s not something I particularly enjoy, what with the smell, the cost, and oh yeah, the DEATH. You would think a shortened life span would be good enough deterrent to avoid just about anything, but sadly, I scoff in the face of death one puff at a time.

I like to think of myself as a “clean” smoker. Never in the house or the car. Only outside and never around other people. Unless they are smoking too. I avoid doing it in the direct path of an entry door, because I am considerate too. Oh yes, I give myself mad props for being such an awesome smoker. I bet you wish all smokers were as awesome as me. Oh wait, you probably wish people would just stop smoking all together. Understandable, I am totally in agreement with you. This does not change the fact that I have a particularly hard time letting the habit go. That’s why it’s called an addiction people!

Those Who Inspire and Don't Even Know It!

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2005/09/change-has-come.html. Start at the beginning, go on a journey. You won't be sorry.

A Simple Kind of Life

I dream of a simple life. The kind of life where I stay home and have lots of babies, do laundry, clean the house, make dinner for my husband who works oh so hard during the day. I like the idea of doing community service projects, being well liked by the Ladies Auxiliary and president of the PTA. I would like to have a carefree spring in my step and and think to myself "I love this beautiful, simple life!" All of this could be possible except for a few tiny, small, insignificant details.

First, I happen to be very loud and opinionated. I never take anything at face value. There is always an ulterior motive and I will make a point to try to figure out what it is. A loud, opinionated housewife. Who ever heard of such a thing? Also, I get angry at a lot of things. Society, government, my neighbor, the person in the minivan who did not yield at the sign clearly stated “YIELD”. I would like to be indifferent to the plight of the world, but I feel it is my duty as a human being to make the world a better place. This mostly revolves around people doing things my way or at the very least listening to me lay out the pros and cons of why my way is the right way and theirs is wrong.

Second, I have very little patience. I like to have an agenda, meet that agenda and move on the the next item of business. Please stop dilly-dallying on my time thank-you-very-much. Very little patience and children just don't seem to go hand-in-hand.

Third, I really don’t like to fold the whites. Socks are my nemeses. By the way, I don't like the word “nemeses”don’t you think the plural of nemesis should be nemesi?

So, while I like the idea of a simple life, the truth is, life by its very nature is complicated.

Please Standby

I received an email today that made me smile. It was from The Story Lady and she said "I miss your blogs". Well thank you Story Lady for reading, I greatly appreciate it!

Unfortunately, reality T.V. is consuming my life. Idol, Loser, Lost. You know, the usual. You know the problem with reality T.V.? It' doesn't go on hiatus. It's like 24-7/365. I do have one question though, when exactly did Jillian Michaels personal trainer become Dr. Michaels, psychiatrist?Very confusing.

Also, can you believe that Ricky Martin is gay? As if. I am completely shocked. There was no possible way to see that one coming.

 Nope, not at all.

The Next Thirty Years

Last week, I turned 35. And then I thought, what the hell? What the "f "am I gonna do for the next 30 years, 60 years? Jesus, I feel like I have lived forever already! You see, I am kind of at a point where everything I do seems pretty meaningless. I am not particularly fond of the world or how it works. What is my purpose? What is your purpose? What is the purpose of jello? It was then that I realized, I have no purpose. Other than the purpose that I lay out for myself. What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of life do I want to live? So now, I can spend the next 30 years deciding what kind of person I want to be and then the 30 years after that being that person. This is ridiculous.

This is Retarded

Mentally Challenged=not smart=dumb=retarded. Why is this an issue? It is what it is. Stop being so frickin' sensitive and get over it. I am pretty sure that I have the right to say what I want to say when I want to say it, you know, living in the U.S. and all. You know what? You have the right to not listen.

It's Monday, Again.

So, Monday came and went. Now it's here again. The problem is, I don't really have a plan. I just kind of say I do. So starting tomorrow, Monday, again, I am getting up at 6:30 every morning to work out in my home gym. Oh yes, I am so lucky to have a home gym. The decor is beautiful and motivating, the equipment is clean and inviting. It smells so ni.....what the hell is that? Dang it dog, did you poop on my gym floor? I know you had to go out, but I am blogging here. "Clean up in the home gym", I say to my husband in my best checkout girl voice.

Where was I? Oh yes, home gym. It doubles as our family room. But it has a very large T.V. and a great sound system which I am sure will be so motivating at 6:30 in the morning. I bet you have a home gym too. Aren't we all so fanatically lucky?

If possible, could you please remind me tomorrow that yes, those pants do make my butt look big, so I will be motivated once again to answer the 6:30am wake up call on Tuesday.

Thanks, you're awfully sweet!